Mosquito Bites My A$$

So Friday, May 11th was the big day.  And let me just start by saying this.  Anytime they make you go down into the basement, you should know they mean serious business.  And as I rode the elevator down underground, I couldn't help but realize the severity of what I was about to get myself into.  I mean, all our life we are taught about the dangers of radiation.  We see the big, yellow hazard signs and are warned to stay away.  We are even forced to wear protective vests when x-rays are taken at the dentist.  But now, here I was, "voluntarily" subjecting myself to this extremely dangerous activity.  And not just for a one-time deal...we're talking 33 times...the maximum amount of radiation one can subject themselves to over their lifetime.

Once again, I'm taking my over-achieving skills to new heights!

After I changed into my new favorite outfit (aka, my super sexy moo moo), I headed back to the treatment room for films and tattoos.  And as I laid down onto the hardest board possible, it was as if I had been transported into a scene from Star Wars.  The machines....computers....intercoms....flashing green lights.  And then the machines started.  Holy smokes!  What the heck is going on here?  I couldn't help but feel like a Geometry word problem.  "If Sheyanne has one tumor located at coordinates X 2.7 and Y 3.2, and another tumor located at X 2.1 and Y 2.9, where do you have to position the machines to ensure the maximum effect of radiation while minimizing the harmful effects to the surrounding cells?"  The answer?  Who cares?  Let's just get this show on the road...I had a lot of coffee this morning, and the caffeine shakes are making it next to impossible to hold still for this long!

After what seemed like forever (ok, so it was only 25 minutes....but you try lying still on a hard board, with your body in a position only Gumby would like, half-naked, with two men drawing on you like you were a Dora the Explorer activity book), it was time for the much-anticipated tattoos.  Piece of cake, right?

Me:  Just out of curiosity, are these going to hurt?
Tech:  Nah, they just feel like mosquito bites.

WHAT THE?!?!  What kind of mosquitos do they have where you come from?  Ones carrying daggers?  I swear, the one on my breast bone felt like he actually hit bone!

At the end of the day, I left that place a different woman...and by that, I mean a woman with four, blue dots surrounding her right breast.

You Have to Crawl Before You Can Walk

So, I didn't get my permanent tattoos last Friday as planned. Apparently there is a process to this whole thing. You can't just go from "never had a tattoo" to "multiple permanent tattoos" overnight. You have to ease your way into it.

So instead, I got three "temporary" tattoos on Friday. Three blue crosses with stickers on top. If you ask me, I kind of like them. In fact, it got me thinking. Why just stop at four blue dots? It's always been my motto...go big or go home. And I've come way too far to go home at this point. So I've done some research and have a few suggestions for my radiologist. Why not just convert those blue dots into four-leaf clovers. Or crosses. Or Chinese characters. Shoot, depending on their placement, I may just have him connect them all into a horseshoe. (OF COURSE I'm still a Colt's fan!!)

Whatever I ultimately decide, I should be getting them tomorrow. I got the green light from my surgeon this afternoon, so if all goes well tomorrow, I will be starting radiation on Monday. Whoop Whoop!!

Which reminds me:

Why is it that when you're instructed to remain absolutely still, you suddenly get the feeling that someone is tickling you with a feather all over your body?

And how come the minute someone tells you to breath normally, you automatically start taking deep breaths while trying to remember what it means to breath "normally"?

Ahhhh....it's going to be a long 6 1/2 weeks!

I'm Getting Inked!

Never say never! I've always said that I would never get a tattoo. Never. But IF I did, it would be a small, four-leaf clover in honor of my Irish heritage.

Wrong and wrong!

This Friday I am getting my very first tattoo....well, first through fourth. And no, I'm not talking about "four" as in a four-leaf clover. I'm talking about four, small blue dots. On my right breast and under my arm. Why?, you ask. Because apparently the scars alone aren't festive enough....we need to add a little color up in here!

Ok, in all seriousness, I really am getting tattoos on Friday. Who knew breast cancer treatment would include tattoos? Apparently they are necessary to mark the precise locations where I am going to be radiated. And as the radiologist was explaining this to me, he actually asked me if it was OK. My first thought was, are you asking me as if I have a choice? My second thought was, dude, do you not see the eight+ gnarly scars I already have?? I'm pretty sure a few tattoos aren't going to make or break my appearance.

Oh, and don't think for a second that I am at all nervous about getting my tattoos, or radiation for that matter. In fact, any concerns I had were put to ease when I talked to two super-optimistic survivors this past weekend at a charity event for the American Cancer Society. Yep, twenty minutes of non-stop "radiation is the absolute WORST part about treatment." Ladies! Ladies! I expect this kind of Debbie-Downer crap from non-cancer patients-NOT survivors! I mean, what do you expect me to do with that kind of information? I'm sorry radiologist, but I'm going to have to pass on the radiation...apparently it does not come very highly recommended from cancer patients. I mean, really?!?

But honestly, I'm totally ready for radiation. Because it means I'm one step closer to putting this all behind me. And besides, I've already been through 9 grueling months of chemotherapy and 3 painful surgeries, so what's a little sunburn in the grand scheme of things, right?!?! (Please do NOT let me have to eat my words!)