Mosquito Bites My A$$

So Friday, May 11th was the big day.  And let me just start by saying this.  Anytime they make you go down into the basement, you should know they mean serious business.  And as I rode the elevator down underground, I couldn't help but realize the severity of what I was about to get myself into.  I mean, all our life we are taught about the dangers of radiation.  We see the big, yellow hazard signs and are warned to stay away.  We are even forced to wear protective vests when x-rays are taken at the dentist.  But now, here I was, "voluntarily" subjecting myself to this extremely dangerous activity.  And not just for a one-time deal...we're talking 33 times...the maximum amount of radiation one can subject themselves to over their lifetime.

Once again, I'm taking my over-achieving skills to new heights!

After I changed into my new favorite outfit (aka, my super sexy moo moo), I headed back to the treatment room for films and tattoos.  And as I laid down onto the hardest board possible, it was as if I had been transported into a scene from Star Wars.  The machines....computers....intercoms....flashing green lights.  And then the machines started.  Holy smokes!  What the heck is going on here?  I couldn't help but feel like a Geometry word problem.  "If Sheyanne has one tumor located at coordinates X 2.7 and Y 3.2, and another tumor located at X 2.1 and Y 2.9, where do you have to position the machines to ensure the maximum effect of radiation while minimizing the harmful effects to the surrounding cells?"  The answer?  Who cares?  Let's just get this show on the road...I had a lot of coffee this morning, and the caffeine shakes are making it next to impossible to hold still for this long!

After what seemed like forever (ok, so it was only 25 minutes....but you try lying still on a hard board, with your body in a position only Gumby would like, half-naked, with two men drawing on you like you were a Dora the Explorer activity book), it was time for the much-anticipated tattoos.  Piece of cake, right?

Me:  Just out of curiosity, are these going to hurt?
Tech:  Nah, they just feel like mosquito bites.

WHAT THE?!?!  What kind of mosquitos do they have where you come from?  Ones carrying daggers?  I swear, the one on my breast bone felt like he actually hit bone!

At the end of the day, I left that place a different woman...and by that, I mean a woman with four, blue dots surrounding her right breast.