One year ago last Friday, I received the most devastating news.
...we're...sorry...Sheyanne...tumors...cancer...aggressive...chemo.
I remember like it was yesterday. The feeling of absolute terror....sheer panic...complete desperation. I saw it in my husband's eyes. I felt it in my soul. I knew that cancer takes no prisoners. But I also knew that at 31, I did not want to die.
Nothing could have prepared me for what my family, friends and I would go through over the next year. And the first few weeks proved to be completely overwhelming. Biopsies...chemo...IVs...inundation of cancer treatment information....and the constant fear of death.
And it never got any easier. It seemed like the harder I fought, the tougher the battle became. Bigger tumors...jackass surgeon...more chemo...Debbie Downers. I was convinced that if the cancer wouldn't kill me, the treatment alone would.
But here we are...one year later...and it hasn't....and most importantly, it WON'T!
God knows I have had my share of good cries and sleepless nights over the past year. And my body (both internally and externally) feels like it has aged over 15 years. But you know what, so has my heart.
Nobody ever says they are grateful to be going through cancer (and if they do, I call BS!). But here's what I have been grateful for throughout this journey:
The unconditional love and support of my husband (my hero!). The tighter bonds of family. The deeper and more meaningful friendships. The selflessness and generosity of complete strangers. The unity and kindness of neighbors. The amazing doctors and medicine. The purposeful life I now live. The complete and everlasting faith I continue to have.
Blessed to have cancer? No.
So while some people may think it's strange to be celebrating a "cancerversary"...I'm all in! Because to me, it means another year of strength, courage and kicking this cancer's booty! (Oh, and free dessert definitely doesn't hurt either!!)
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