It Turned On Me...But I Fought Back!

Like any great cocktail I've ever overindulged in, my first "chemo cocktail" was no different.  It turned on me.  In a big way.  I mean, I've had my share of hangovers, colds, flus and various other illnesses-but nothing could have prepared me for this.  I learned that it's one thing to say "I'm stronger than chemo", and another to actually prove it.  But I did!!  It just took me a little longer and a lot more energy and fight than I had imagined.

The first couple of hours following my treatment were amazing!  I swear, I could actually feel the cancer cells shrinking (or at least that's what I told myself!)  And, I had specifically requested from the nurse, the "special" cocktail, meaning the kind that didn't make you sick and didn't make you lose your hair.  I guess she forgot the first special ingredient (but not the second because I still have my hair-well, at least for a couple more days!) 

By Friday afternoon, it was clear that I needed a little "hair of the dog."  Well, not exactly.  No more chemo cocktail, but some IV treatment from the hospital.  After an hour of treatment, and a ridiculous amount of medication, I survived my first chemo treatment.  Whoop! Whoop!  (I can say that now, because right now, I actually feel ok.  But I'll be sure to monitor my taunting because I know what lies around the corner in another 2 weeks!) 

Although  I feel 200% better than I felt on Thursday and Friday, I am still extremely exhausted and completely out of energy.  I can't understand how I can be THIS tired, all of the time!  I get so frustrated by how I'm completely wiped out after the smallest things.  Just this morning, I had to sit down after I made Dan a cup of coffee (which I insisted upon doing just to prove I could-I know, typical Shey!)  I'm so used to being so independent and energetic, that I feel paralyzed and crippled by my lack of energy and loss of independence.  I know it's only temporary, but for someone who defines herself as one who can do it all (or at least try), this is a rather cruel reality for the time being.

So, I know I said I still have all of my hair-but not for long.  Today is the day I "voluntarily" cut my hair super-short before it all falls out.  They say by cutting it short first, it's a way to "take control" so that when it does fall out, it won't be as "dramatic".  For those of you who know me, losing any amount of hair is going to be dramatic!  But for those of you who know me, you also know that who am I to question any type of expert hair advice!  Besides, maybe without my hair, my Colts helmet will fit a little better!

Thank you all again for your prayers, blessings and support!  I will never be able to thank you all enough!

Have a blessed day!

Shey