Two Steps Forward....One Step Back (But Not Out!)

• Survive my first round of chemo....Check
• Survive a week of having to stay inside....Check
• Survive a week of a really strict diet....Check
• Survive shaving my head....Check
• Survive my first public outing with a bald head....Double Check (and rockin' it!)
• Ready for Chemo Round 2....Check....or so I thought...

Yesterday was a fantastic day!  I felt great.  I felt strong.  I felt empowered.  And when I left my house for the first time with my bald head, I actually felt proud!  Sure, I could see people staring at me out of the corner of their eyes.  But nothing could take away the smile from my face.  The nurse who took my blood looked surprised when I told him I was fantastic! after he asked how I was doing.  In fact, he said, "you are a little too happy to be here!"  But that's just because he doesn't know me and my spirit!

When I met with my oncologist, I was excited to see him.  He too was a little surprised to see how happy I was.  Before he performed each test (feeling my throat, under my arms, my breathing, etc.) I provided him with my diagnosis, telling him "Oh, I know my lungs are great!" and "don't worry no swollen lymph nodes in my throat!"  He just laughed and confirmed what I already knew-that everything else was great!

And everything else was great...until I got the call at around 5:00 p.m.  You see, before each round of chemo, my blood levels have to be at a certain level to make sure my body is strong enough to take some more of the cocktail.  The normal range for white blood cells?  4,300 to 10,000.  My targeted range?  1,500.  My actual count?  500!  "Dangerously low" is what I was told. 

So what does this mean?  I have to get home injections for 3 days to try to raise my white blood cell count.  I have to remain in the house through at least the end of the week.  Strick eating diet.  And chemo round 2 is postponed until next Thursday (assuming my levels are high enough). 

Of course I am extremely disappointed and a little scared.  I was so physically and mentally ready to start killing more cancer cells today.  But not even this can take the smile off my face for too long.  I mean, just think about it- if the chemo can do that to my good, strong cells, imagine what one dose has already done to the bad cancer cells!

Shey