A Different Body Image

Three months ago I was sitting poolside in Las Vegas.  As I looked around at the younger and more rowdy crowds, I couldn't help but compare and criticize.  My breasts were too small.  My thighs were too big.  My skin was too pasty.  My varicose veins were unsightly.  My arms were not toned enough.  My entire body image was based on my outer physical characteristics.

But then, I woke up the other morning and my husband had to basically carry me out of bed.  My legs were just too heavy and weak from the chemo and the daily injections to walk on my own.  It was at that moment that I couldn't help but wish that my biggest issues with my body were the size of my breasts and thighs. 

Before, a "good" body day was when my jeans fit just right or when a blouse made me look sexy.  Today, a "good" body day is when I can stand on my own long enough to shower or when I go an entire day without a headache.  It's funny how something so important can be taken for granted for so long.  And how what once used to be so important can seem so trivial.

My body image is no longer based on how I look, but more importantly, how I feel.  I have such a greater appreciation for my body and health-because I now know more than ever, that without these two things, nothing else really matters.